How To Avoid Being Energetically Slimed
Have you ever been slimed?
When we have been energetically slimed following an interaction with someone, we feel sticky and icky from our bones to the edges of our aura. Our skin can feel oily and our whole system can feel just plain gross. If you are energetically sensitive you might even sense someone else’s energy in your personal space.
Why does this happen to us?
When we are functioning as whole beings with clear and healthy energetic boundaries, we don’t get slimed or pick up energetic ick from others because there is no space for their energy or emotions in our personal space.
To envision what our energetic boundaries look like, think of the brightly colored waxy coating that surrounds a round of Gouda. It’s smooth and works beautifully to hold and protect the cheese within. By contrast, when we function with a lack of energetic boundaries, we are more like Swiss cheese: all full of holes.
And since our energy systems don’t tolerate a void of energy, something is going to fill the space whether we are aware of it or not.
Most of us have a host of survival tools that look and feel a lot like energetic gymnastics and that compensate for our lack of energetic boundaries. One of these is “Unconscious Merging”. We humans are really great at unconsciously merging our energy with others, our pets, our co-workers, our clients, places and even whole situations.
The kind of unconscious merging I am talking about here often starts with curiosity about someone or a desire to understand them or a situation better, orto ground or stabilize ourselves in times of uncertainty. We merge to show affection and to solve conflicts. Some of us merge because we hold the idea that we don’t need or don’t deserve energetic and emotional sovereignty when we are with someone or are a part of a group. Many self-taught intuitives and psychics read this way, receiving their information by merging with their clients.
But isn’t being connected with someone Bliss?
Unconscious energetic merging can look and feel like bliss at first. But too quickly the fun is over, and we can start to feel like we are suffocating. When we eventually separate from our merge, we most often leave some of our energy behind and walk away with someone else’s.
The sliming and ick we then feel after interacting with someone is not actually something bad, it is just energy that is not ours! Many people who use merging as a regular survival technique are unable to distinguish their energy and emotions from others, to the detriment of their life and well being.
Losing our self
When we merge with another consciously or unconsciously we literally lose ourselves in the moment or the relationship. We forget who we are and what resources we have to stay energetically and emotionally sovereign. And once we are merged we can have a heck of a time untangling ourselves from another’s energy.
There are many ways to creating healthy interactions with energetic boundaries and prevent feeling slimed. My new book “Energetic Boundaries 101” will be coming out soon, with an array of tools for creating energy boundaries. Until that time, let’s have a look at a few tips to help you along.
1. There is no blame
It takes two to tango, right? The same can be said about unconscious energy merging. When we feel ourselves being slimed we need to remember that we are half of that equation. Each of us is responsible for our own actions and energy and our own energy boundaries. As soon as we place blame or judgment on another, we become part of a drama triangle, playing the role of persecutor, rescuer or victim. The real healing comes when we can take a step in the direction of compassion and growth.
2. Look for the healing
One of the greatest lessons of creating a boundary practice is finding the learning, growth and healing in each situation that does not work for us. When we are unconsciously merging with another, we can ask why. “Why am I feeling I am not allowed maintain my energetic sovereignty with this person?” Then use your personal healing tools and heal this part of yourself. Remember that each interaction we have is a gift, and finding ways to heal ourselves so we can interact as whole beings can heal the world in big ways.
3. Have heartfelt compassion for yourself and others
When we are with people or in situations that we generally respond to with merging, we can try compassion instead. The kind of compassion I am talking about needs to go both ways. Before, during and after your interactions, see what needs to shift in your breath, your posture, how you hold your eyes and jaw so you can embody compassion for your own being and another.
4. Be full-of-self
Being full-of-self is radically different than being full of ourselves. To be full-of-self is honoring our uniqueness, our authenticity, the personal journey we have taken to get here to this moment. When we are full-of-self we have access to the tools of personal healing and being that allow us to feel complete within, and so we are much less likely to unconsciously merge with another to fill our void.
Tired of getting slimmed?
I was too. Before I learned how to create an energetic boundary with my own presence I regularly felt overwhelmed by others and feel remarkably slimmed at the end of my day.
Then I learned how to create a true energetic boundary, with my own presence. No more slime.
I share with you, what I have learned about creating energetic boundaries with love and respect for our self and those we love and interact with in my book, Energetic Boundaries 101. Plus, it is full color, illustrated to nourish the kid in you.
Joanna is the author of Energetic Boundaries 101. She is a shamanic practitioner, animal communicator and mentor. She works, writes lives and tends to the important matters of spirit-energy with playful, transparency and honesty.
She works with clients all over the globe from her healing studio that is lovingly nestled between Mt Baker and the Salish sea, in Bellingham, WA.