Navigating anticipatory grief for pets
Much like the story The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams, our pets reach a stage where their elbows are worn bare from long naps in front of the fire, their joints are a touch sore and creaky from years of long walks and adventures, and their elder hearts are bolstered by years of love. I understand this as the Velveteen Rabbit stage of life. It’s the point of a pet’s life when they cross the threshold from being a pet to being a beloved elder.
In this stage, they know how to directly gaze right into your soul and emanate deep gratitude for their life with you.
The Velveteen Rabbit stage of life is nestled between middle age and starting to think about end-of-life care. It’s the "worn bare with love" stage, where there are still many adventures ahead—even if they all happen a touch slower (and include a long, deep nap on the car ride home).
As precious as this stage is, it is coupled with the knowing that there are more adventures, snuggles and days together in this world behind than to come.
With every age-related change you see, like when your elder cat struggles to get to the top of their scratcher to their favorite perch, or when your dog hesitates before jumping onto the sofa for a cuddle, it can become harder and harder to ward off the anticipatory grief. Speculation, projection, and worst-case scenarios have a way of cropping up, making it even harder to be in the now.
As an animal communicator, I hear again and again that in this stage of life, what they want more than anything from you is connection and presence.
They want to feel your presence on walks and at mealtimes. They want to know you are right there with them as their joints feel a little creaky and you understand they can’t do what they used to be able to do.
They want to feel connected with you as their body, sight and hearing changes as they age,
And they want the chance to tell you all about it from their unique perspective.
One of the beautiful gifts of animal communication is that it gives you the opportunity to have deep, soulful conversations with your senior pet that allow you to truly understand what they are feeling and wanting, so you can both get the most from this precious stage of life.
Guessing and speculating about what our pets might be feeling and wanting is Kryptonite for empathic connection. The moment we start guessing, we get stuck in our heads and disconnected from our heart.
And yet… When our beloved pets reach a certain age, it is SO freaking hard to be present while also wading through the dread of what may lie ahead.
I believe the antidote lies in just talking with them about it so your understanding isn’t based on projections or guessing.
Animal communication gives you the chance to hear about how they are actually feeling (no guessing needed!) and about all the good things that bring them joy. And what kinds of accommodations they may be ready for so they can continue experiencing joyful moments with you, hopefully for years to come.
Is your pet a member of the Velveteen Rabbit club?
I have a very special offering for senior pets and the humans who love them.
Rescued Dog Animal Communication Package
From creaky joints to potty changes, to the deeper conversations about purpose in this life, this animal communication package helps you understand what your senior pet is feeling and wanting—so you can support them with love and patience.
This package gives you 3 one-hour sessions over the course of three months to talk with your senior pet about what they are feeling in their aging body, what they want more of, what they need less of, and how you both can adjust to the changes aging brings.
And unlike one-time sessions, this package helps you tune-into the evolving needs and wisdom of your senior companion as they age, giving you deeper insights about what your pet is wanting to share with you about this precious stage of their Velveteen journey.
“Joanna creates a very safe and structured place for the human to be open to hearing what their beloved pet has to say. I'd recommend her to anyone wanting to hear more from their animal soul mates..”
Sarah - Via Google Reviews
