While the original concept of the Five Love Languages that was first presented in Gary Chapman’s book back in the 90s, has been debunked, there is still bond-building power in asking those we love their favorite ways to give and receive affection, including our pets.
**Here’s how to get to know your pet’s love languages so they know they are loved and safe with you**
*Spoiler alert: there are wayyy more than 5 kinds of love languages!*

The love languages of pets

I believe pets, just like people, have unique ways of offering affection and receiving love and care. What helps one pet feel loved - like hugs or snuggles doesn’t necessarily work for all pets.

And while the original concept of the Five Love Languages, which Gary Chapman’s book highlighted back in the 90s, has been debunked (thank goodness!), there is still bond-building power in asking those we love their favorite ways to give and receive affection, including our pets.

And there are countless ways pets give and receive affection, love, and care and learning to recognize these can deepen your bond.

Understanding your pet’s love languages can feel like a superpower

When I’m feeling stressed, my cat, Miss Kitty, knows exactly the flavor of love I’m needing and how to dish it out purrfectly. She’ll wiggle her way under the covers and snuggle up close while purring up a storm, melting my worry and stress like nothing else.

When heavier-duty healing treatments are needed, Miss Kitty will use her skills to hone in on tight spots on my legs or back and then knead the stress away as she makes biscuits.

When I tell her how helpful she is, despite how fiercely independent and no-nonsense this girl is, her eyes get brighter, and she even glows a little brighter - every time.

Hearing me (and others) tell her how wonderful she is, and how good she is at what she does, is one of her favorite ways to receive love. It’s one of her love languages. More than head scratches and almost as much as snacks.

Words of affirmation help Miss Kitty know she belongs here

Knowing Miss Kitty’s Love Languages has helped us help this girl feel safe and know she belongs here. Beacuse feeling safe is what this girl wants, more than anything, and knowing her past, I can fully understand why. Before we adopted her at age 5, she had a home and a family, until suddenly she didn’t.

According to her account of what happened, her family up and moved without her, without saying a word to her. leaving her to become a “stray at large” for about 6 months before she was picked up by the heroes at The Whatcom Humane Society.

After this trauma of being a stray without food and shelter, her need to feel safe and to know she belongs here is fierce.

Understanding Your Pet’s Love Language: How to Spot the Subtle Signs of Love and Strengthen Your Bond

Some love languages are easy to spot with our pets, just by observing habits and patterns, like pets who are complete snuggle monsters. Chances are that’s one of their love languages.

But in the thousands of conversations I’ve had with pets, I’ve learned that their preferences for giving and receiving love are often subtler—sometimes showing up in everyday rituals that might seem unremarkable and often surprise clients, who say, ‘Wait… that’s what they love the most?’

Yet once they understand not only their pet’s preferences and what’s behind it, they can give those seemingly mundane moments or events more of their attention and report being able to actually see how much their pets love it.

So the next time you are intuitively tuning in with your pets or talking with an animal communicator, be sure to take the time to ask your pets about what kinds of things help them feel loved and the ways they like to shower you with affection.

Because once you know what they love, you can create shared moments of deep connection that will strengthen trust, and hopefully create more love and connection to your relationship with your pets.

"Knowing my kitten Charm's love language is touch (and snuggles and pets) helps me know how to make her feel safe, secure and loved -- so important for a newly adopted kitty!"

-Lauren V.